Shoe squeaks on the floor..?.. it’s your new baby.
Squeezing a half empty bottle of shampoo while in the shower..?.. it’s your new baby.
Elevator door opens..?..new baby.
Someone drags a chair across their floor upstairs..?.. guess what?… Your baby!!
After a couple days with my little man, I have heard more odd noises, grunts, cries and snorts than I could possibly count. It happens so much that I’ve developed a stiff neck from whipping my head around so much.
Today, I even turned off the water to my shower (mid-lather, mind you) stood naked covered in suds and opened the curtain to listen for…you guessed it…my baby. Only to remember that I came home to shower and my wife and baby were still at the hospital.
I now understand why most parents are bat-shit crazy.
Science has discovered that new born humans respond to the calls of not only their parents…but non-human primates as well! They especially enjoy the calls of the Blue-eyed Madagascar Lemur!! And this ability fades away after the first few months of life!
This basically means that new borns are like mini-Tarzan! But only for a short period of time!
I gotta take my kid to the zoo!